We were once so strong

In just 2 hrs I will have to make my eating disorder speech. Wondering why am I not feeling the least tense about it. Speech yo, there will be audiences and worse still judgements. Why am i feeling so tired today when I have been sleeping so much the entire week.

i was thinking of switching this site. This will probably be the last post cause I really cant have a single reader to a private space. Anyway here's one to the last of it.

One day when you have finally gotten her out for lunch with you, I was thinking maybe you'll be excited happy and you'll get the flutters you once had. She'll probably have a meal double the portion of yours and you wouldnt feel so awkward cause at least someone's eating with you!! If you're not used to force feeding or not used to see someone starve because she wanna look better for you...maybe you'll feel different in a better way.

Bye forever and ever, till you find me again I suppose.

Someday you'll know...

As usual my mind would be in a blank whenever i come to this space. Lately I've been thinking..whats that meaning to life anyway. I am not a very angsty person and sometimes it might be a bad thing after keeping so much for too long. I hate alot of things actually, probably a little less than an average person but on the whole..I have a lot of conflicts about my life. I am feeling especially sour today because I miss having a family. I miss it so much to an extend I just go home a lot sometimes. I'll be working or not I'll head home and live the healthy way.

Wish I had a car so I can plan a roadtrip anytime. Wish i has starbucks while driving.
ARghhhhhhhhhhhhh what a strangee revalation.

I don't know if its worth it anymore,

Think when everyone talks about love, they dont just need a companion to hear them out. Companions are everywhere, everyone is technically in love. Maybe what we all need is to let the right person hear us talk about love and that person has to be the lover. I busy randoming about nothing and tonight I dont feel like talking much.

The funniest thing about this space is that it leaves me blanked out whenever I start typing.
Well I just left a major clue.