& we're holding tight now,slow down now.

Just so you know, the other half of me says I shouldnt fall for you. Im so happy and settled being single and carefree. Im happy with what everyday has to bring,what we have now is already good enough for me. Still,as long as you stay,I'll give my all for you.

For now,keeping this way is good. I know I m not the least ready to take a big step not that I have any intention to. Love is a huge commitment,too huge actually. I dont even wanna give that word out unless I mean it.

The beating of our hearts is the only sound.

One word to you,disppointment. Next time please clarify the issue before your impluse false accusations. Whats all this about man,do i stand to gain anything out of it at all? C'mon you have been friends with her for the longest time,you wont need anyone to tell you whats right and whats wrong. Hold a sec, people shouldnt even bring up the past when they are dealing with the curent situation,swear its just going to ruin things. I need to rant it out just like how you did..the only reason why i didnt do this in lj is because I dont want people asking about it. I hate talking about my problems nowadays.
Know what really hit me? The part when you said you should have taken his advice. Really?After all this while,after the tone he used with you?
Whats over is fucking over, does bringing things up solve things. Then again,Im just giving a word of advice... I didnt tell you anything that she have done behind your back because I know how much she means to you. Or should i say,its not even my business in the first place. Dont feel guilty anymore because ..I told you its done. I meant it.
Friends or not you choose. I played my part,you have your own mind to make right decisions dont you. Frankly,it ok with me know why!! Cause I didnt have the slightest intention to hurt you AT ALL. Why the fuck would i do that ay,wont it be hurting myself in return too?Conscience is in ultra clear mode btw.

What about her?Does it work the same too? Just one question,just what have you been thinking recently..

We're in the city of wonder

I knew it..just what was I thinking when my mum said she would leave me and the house for the entire week. What was all that that came thru my mind when I could smell fresh air. Plans were just made instantly and all that fun thoughts just streaming it. Whoa late nights out,sure wanna get a hold of it. One week was sufficient man.

Plz pray the flight cannot be cancelled...pls......!! Desperate calls now!!

Exams will be done in just 2 days and I can go hang out,chill do whatever I like for fucken 2 months bbs!! Thats if Im not taking my supp paper of course. This is crazy,I actually do miss him. Never felt the jitters in such a long time not to mention the whole I.m.Shy feeling.

I love the sound of you walking away.

When's it going to be. Why are our lifestyles sooooooo different!! This is coming to... nothing.

In a place called,here.

We are so different yet we share alot in common as well. Glad there's someone who shared the same views as I did in most of the things. I was willing to wait patiently for him to come pick me up even thou he was like almost an hour late. We could walk around the mall without shopping and simply just using the atmostphere for talk. We had a really long dinner at a simple place and I was happy. On the way home,I felt like I've almost no energy because I've been talking so much and I could tell,you were too. We would watch the stars together till its almost midnight and still carrying on with this breathless conversation. I was honest with everything that I've said,not even afraid to let you know about the little things that I've done wrong.I couldnt care much about the consequences because it has been so long since I felt so comfortable with someone like you.

Throughout the day, nothing more came through my mind except for this amazing friendship. God has been so kind and liberal with me. Since you made your way into my life,dont take a step out ever.
I cant wait for the next time. Till then.Xx

& I get to kiss you baby just bcause I can

Is this a sign where love starts?
Think it was so genuine and beautiful tonight. Finally the stars are shining brightly just like before,Im seeing through that happiness I was engulfed in. Make it last.

Thats why Im by your side,thats why I love you

Who knew,we actually cliqued. Someone whom i thought I would never ever wanna be assiociated with,now being someone close to my heart and treasured. Im still curious with the way life works,how fate can bring 2 people from the both ends forming this special friendship. The last time we met,I gave her the warmest hug that I have given anyone else in the longest time. Really thankful and happy we had such a great day together. & no,not a single sign of hatred towards her anymore.

This week has been good. Been spending some time with my books and random people as well. They were alot of fun !! I even went to work today for I need to save up for Sam's sexy 18th. Talking to Sean right now,just secretly wondering if the connection we had would carry on..Guess there's still too much we dont know about each other. Time?

Freaky dreams

Had this dream about me and my bad fortune. So then god came down,trying to help me.
Am I really in need of help? Everyone kept going on about the luck of goat year,but seriously Im making it thru fine :) This week is just going to get a little mundane cause alot of time will be dedicated to studying.

Again,sunday was awesome. I had like the best weekend anyone can ask for. Life,plz stay like this for me!

When the storm's finally thru.

So spent my day at Ecp,enforcing the rule of being nonchalant on Vday. The whole world seem to have made the same plans as we did,only better. You see couples of all kinds,just like how cupid would wrongly match people together for the sake of today.Secretly, I felt hat love was all along a facade at our age. One year you can be happily spending the day with your love,with a bouquet of roses in one hand and holding his hands tightly with the other. Probably,talking about everything that life has put the r/s into or talking about sweetnothings,raving on about how forever will never come. The next year,probably finding yourself blogging about things like that,like me.

I came across this couple,both inevitably captivated in their own love. The guy was kneeling before her with roses and a gift. He went beyond sweet cause he even add on this sparklers effect and all. Deep down,I really felt happy for this two lovebirds,wondering if their r/s would last.

Snapping back to where Im,reality. It was still good actually. Had a really nice and warm Jap picnic and happen to even bump into my mum wth. X came over to spend the rest of the day that was left with me. Felt really happy that everything turned out pretty well.
Just realised that god has actually spread the love out very evenly..I had my fair share this year,just hope things get even better from now.

Had the best Vday ever. X's really sweet but I really dont know what to give in return..
Just really pondering how many more times do I wanna screw things up or ruin opportunities thats right before me.

Think I'll go to Boston,where no one knows my name.

Just gotten up from this really bad hangover. Seriously,I dont see the point of drinking because I always end up in this state after all that fun. Last nigght was pretty awesome thou. I really love Aly,luci and the people there,its really amazing how we actually clique so quickly. So they were constantly setting me up with this guy who is..HAHAHA cute.
Walk me home and all. Was really high so couldnt really recall every bit of it.

Today's Vday. Grant it to be good and I know it will. Spending the entire day with jacq is the best choice I have ever made. If we both were to go out with someone else,we'll end up thinking about "whether he's gonna ask us out again" and all that nonsense so fuck it..we are better off learning to overcome shit like this.

hopelessly,endlessly

I think I can confidently say we are both thru the entire relationship. Seriously,I dont know how to tell you how much i would wish to keep you as my bestfriend. Someone who I can still confide in,study with and keeping my secrets with.

I know I'll always love you,a very far distant kinda love but it still exists. I promise you this cause somehow I know you'll still love me too.Some things in life are simply irreplaceable.
Think I'll dig all my guts up to tell you about all this the next time we ever get to meet.

Fk the busy days.

Free love givin' day.

So anyway,tp's giving away free bananas at Biz sch.
Adam and Ryan:" like giving out free dicks sia'

I swear I didnt hear that, so me being oblivious and cheapskate all at the same time,happily took 2 bananas when i was offered.
Ryan" you can have it for your own"

So theres me and the 2 dick looking bananas,still contemplating whether i shoud just eat it or not.
So yes i ate it anyway!! Josh went like" why must your facial expression be like that when you're eating the banana" . Believe me,I was speechless.
So then it was me,half a banana and some in my mouth finding its way to be swallowed.
Sick people,cant help it Im under their influence.

Save me.

Looking at the numder of views from my profile, think people might have found their way here..Should I be moving? But its fun to keep this private blog as a mystery and not locking it. Think someone's going to tell me one day?

So anyway im in school now waiting for fashion class to start. By right I m suppose to be making my way there now but today's an exception so gonna just take my time.
Many shit happened last night and me being me always not knowing how to handle things in the best way..ended up with this major quarrel with my mum.
D and A are still at my place with barely any plans. I have a life to cope with myself and I dont think im capable enough to help in such big issues.
Pris is stressed and frustrated.........

Then again,you're going to tell me i put myself thru all this wouldnt you?If someone wants to play saints she has to do it till the end,no way for emergency back out.
Great my mum just called.

Really wish for a timeout from everything. Recession,exams,projects and the people who needs help...where do I start again?

he loves me,he loves me not

This week has been drawn to a closure with many unforeseen surprises and..i don't know how you put it,drama? Firstly, I scored an A for accounting so i guess thats something I ought to be proud of. Secondly random thing,I met 2 good people and I really like them!! I have to mention about the wholesale price that I received at Cityplaza and lastly...which I cant type it out because its to keep it confidential for my gd'friend.

Today has been a great day anyway. It didnt start off so good because me and X quarreled half our time away but i guess it turned for the better. Strangely,my mum was raving on about how good looking he was the moment she saw him-.-
She said I wouldnt even stand a chance if only she was eighteen. The whole point is!!I just really hope things dont get too far,especially the way people might think.

Glad that I made it thru the week thou,you've no idea. Even my signs said that everything can only get better after this week so I really just cant wait for monday to come. My life's so packed eveything's burying me 20 feets down. Speaking of that,Im going to be so tired out when the week starts with my fashion project due this friday. I feel so screwed up for myself sometimes,I should buy myself to barcardi when all this shit is over for real.

I came home today feeling entirely drained..wish I could just call yj to ask how was his day.
I.am.cliche.

You got to be kidding...Im hearing shit about her from everywhere,from your sch and people from your previous class. Well just take care of your "bestfriend" will you and dont get yourself hurt along the way. Ya just make sure you dont get hurt cause then...its indirectly hurting people who still care for you.

Anyway,yesterday would mark the best closure I ever had.
Really,I'll never hurt you.

She had to run away from everything.

So hi secret space. Everything's like different everyday and things are everchanging. Yj's words held no promises to me at all. Valentine's just a little hope, a little of what I asked but still,it remained almost unrealistic. Im not gonna care really,I still have loving memories to keep and people who wouldnt mind spending that day with me. Im not sad really just... still pondering about the way things change.

Why do people make promises when they dont have commitments to fulfil them? You know how many times have Yj told about doing this and that with me but somehow he'll just come up with this whole..'I dont want to give you false hope thing' .

Its a good thing I have given up a while ago. Expecting too much out of life is insane cause you'll always end up being so disappointed. I adopt this thing about dreaming more than expecting...at least when life chooses to surprise me,I'll feel so blessed and contented.

Anyway I think i have been a bitch to Vivien recenty not that I actually KNOW her but...indirectly i just have this jealousy thing. But I figured jealousy couldnt take me far and I didnt use to be like that. I was a more secured and confident person i suppose. Just couldnt deal with a new girl just yet but its getting good now..
Have to accept the fact that people move on,
people dont live to just love one,
people find replacements eventually,
& I will too right?

Whatever it is,just hope that he's genuinely happy. I'd give anything..
Thought now it would be just good if I have time away on my own.

Love you,baby.Still do.

Two people makes one heart.

Wondered if anyone would actually figure their way here. Anyway if you are,Im moving here to post my private stuff,sad life yeah. Good for you,probably a little more juice to juice out from me.

Everything that you've got to juice has got to be for love. So my dad has been asking about us lingering on and all,everyone's curious too but nobody really knows whats going on. We have been going like friends with special benefits for a good long time actually,say a year after the whole big break up. I know,Im seriously impressed with myself at times like this.

It came a long way if you asked. There were too much inbetween(s),commotions and everyday feuds that drove me 20 times though that emotional wall. Sometimes I really wanna just end everything because us being like this will really somehow ruin opportunites that might come better in future if you get what I mean. Hard to friends because we can never stop that denial of little love that we see in each other.

People standing at the sidewalk laugh at how silly Im,laugh at how I can make this simple issue so complicated. It is complicated because no one understands,I dont even undestand it myself.

But somehow things are more or less better than before. We dont quarrel so much like we used to probably cause with all the time we had,we actually learnt to be more understanding. Unknowingly we have changed again,for each other.
We sure are better people now,you think?