Better together

Today I told my bestfriend I am going to write a motherfucking story for him but now I cannot promise when is he going to see this. But anyhow its time I wrote something before my mind gets blanked out. Where do I start when I have him in every single part of my life, so much so it has became a routine. A routine I talk to my bestfriend, a norm to do things together almost everyday and very much expected even when I let him watch me cry. Its people like him you know so well you can finish up his sentences for him. Okay, maybe I have not come to that point but you know what he means when he does something. Like the bear hug!! You dont need to hear " I love you" when you get this kinda hugs.

I wonder why I am still single sometimes. Can I blame it on my past? Like I made commitments once and I think alot about love more than anyone else. I feel like I see beyond things because of the things I have been through. True enough if everyone thinks that way but look at me!!I ask if its really possible to fall in love with someone else. When at one point you do anything for one, and the next you really have to walk out of it? Im the confuse nomad.

People dont see it but I am really afraid of such things. Sadly my bestfriend dont see alot of things in my position. Falling in love is easier than making love last. The only reason Im questioning myself right now is because I dont know what to do. Love makes friendship difficult to maintain till it comes to a point where either youre lovers or youre nothing more. Whenever I see my bestfriend now, there will be a tinge of nervousness in me and I find me slapping myself out of such thoughts even more frequently.

So I asked him how do you know if youre in love with someone? He answered" when even doing nothing makes me happy and when you find yourself doing everything just to make one person happy because that smile means everything" It made me think. Fyi, things that he does always made me think.

Quotes that he tells me almost everyday and even better when it came from him. I swear it always got me thinking about us.
Like this one below today.

"You want to know why nice guys finish last? It’s because they aren’t willing to take a chance, they’re too tied to their rules. They see their girl at her most vulnerable moment, and instead of doing what they perceive as a dick move, they put their arms around her and they hold her. They listen to her weep and they don’t take control of the situation. She’s too precious to cut off. Let her weep."-lelove

It reminds me of all the times when I was crying in front of him and how he would just..yeah let me cry. Times when he stoood up for me because of other guys. Haha. Now it just proves it further my pussy bestfriend is a nice guy and he's going to be the last.He's not just a bestfriend to me Im pretty sure. In fact he's the ladies man in my eyes. People actually need my bestfriend. You'll see how girls are so comfortable talking to him even when he sucks so bad at consoling. Know why? Because he is so sincere in everything and he's nice as a friend to everyone.
Girls youre so confident he will take your sorrows and you know there's no other guy like my bestfriend who would be there for you as geniunely as he does. He beats your blood sucking boyf at home anyday, anytime.

Though all that my bestfriend's a kid, a real whine that goes beyong " roaminsilence". Attention span has to be there an there's no tomorrow when he gets hungry. He would never believe in my eating disorders and he has no idea how hard I fight to have one. In his point, it was all my issues ttvm. Well little does my bestfriend knows..I m super greedy. I crave for food at every level you think. So thats how it goeswe both have issues but we love foood!Ok this paragraph is a little sidetrack but I am feeling fat.

Lastly, did I mention my bestfriend drives me crazy. The worse thing is he thinks I dont know anything and then I have to pretend I dont know anything and rant everything to Alikok. Both of us would rant to the same person very nicely done. When we are both talkingto each other, it always seemed fine but inside my head it goes " WTF YOURE DRIVING ME TO MY GRAVE IN THIS MIND FUCKED GAME" Yea there,now you know.

Its all the things about you that makes us bestfriends. In love or not,you decide.