Baby thats the best of me

'I will literally break his heart for you.."
Im so glad Josh and Dian are finally back. We met up yesterday to celebrate Jonas's bday. Only 4 of us and Zh because we wanted a really small gathering..the'take and go' gathering. Josh got me chandu from disney,its so fucking adorable and I m going to leave the tag on so people know its disney. Dian got me this postcard and what really matters was the content in it although i have no idea why there was french in it. Cb like I will ever understand haha.

Anyway I've been neglecting some of my friends/bestfriend recently. I have been so busy at work and I have been juggling my social life in the most horrid manner.Im not trying to say I have so many people in my life and all that..no I really dont. Just that in some part of my life,I have new people entering and some getting closer...as much as I would really like to make eveyone feel that they are very significant to me,there's only so much I can do.

Occasionally I'll try to call and write little notes to tell you guys how much you mean to me ..I hope my friends will know it somehow.

I realised Im fucking alone sometimes,seriously. Especially when problems start bombarding on me,I'll never know who I can turn to. People always have this mindset that I have many other great people around so I wont be of much help anyway. Everyone,I mean everyone thinks this way...and what happens is,Im just left with nobody.

On every other day,I always seem to be the happiest girl with no problems. In front of people I am barely left with a choice but to shove all my emotions to the back of my mind. I feel so different from before...I have to always come home and let out my sorrows cause there's no where else I can throw them to.

Sighs,perhaps its better this way..Feeling pretty numb about everything and problems just run away on its own somehow.I'll work and just meet people I really love..I only have 2 hands to juggle my life. Aint superwoman so i have to stop acting like one.

Lastly,I love you Alicia. You're one of the most special people to me in my life,one rank just below family. I really feel like we dont spend alot of time together and that really sucks. I'll call you out as much as I can when Im off duty..hopefully then we'll have more time together. No one else in my life is quite like you because you are my best friend, best listener and mostly because you support me in whatever Im doing. I know that clearly cause since Sec 2,you've always been there to catch me. When me and Yj broke off, you were out shopping with me and I'll never forget that. Went I came back from hk, I was so touched when I saw the letter that you mailed to me. I know you care so much about me and Im really sorry if we really didnt spend much time during the holidays.