Found somebody worthy

Thoughts started streaming in when I laid in bed last night. My day was pretty much taxing on me especially cause I had to juggle between work and school. Nevertheless,I know it will be good experience for me. I've been strong,so strong.

"why is this happening to me'...I dont seem to know how to confide in anyone anymore..I just think alot,way alot more than I usually did. I always see my life as a novel, a story at play and Im the leading actress in it. The rest of the world is my audience and sometimes they see a clearer picture. At most events,I just get so carried away by the plots I've unknowingly let myself through that emotional ride.

I've been crying so hard deep down inside.I wonder if keeping things inside of me will somehow lead to depression someday and Im serious. Putting up a front of everyone has been going on like a routine and coming home to only feel like I need to explode.

I've got great people around me and you will never have an idea when I say that. They're so good they'd do anything and everything to make life a little better. In fact,they are the sole reason why I'll still carry on with the rest of my life.

Somethings been missing lately. I know I have lost a few things and people I loved but over a few times have I convinced myself its only inevitable. I have gotten thru that and smile when I look back and sometimes,I feel thankful. Maybe time is what I need to get used to the lost I had recently. Pretty soon,it will be so numb I will forget it actually happened.

I wonder alot how my audience look at me. Do they sense some agony beneath that face.